How to Rewrite Your Attachment Patterns

So much of what we call love is shaped long before we ever choose a partner. In this episode of the Relationship Mastery Series, host Amanda Hill sits down with Diane Poole Heller to explore how our early attachment patterns echo through our adult relationships — and how we can gently change them, one choice at a time.

Together they unpack why secure attachment is our natural baseline — and how life’s inevitable wounds or family dynamics can pull us toward avoidant, anxious, or disorganized ways of connecting. More importantly, Diane brings it down to earth: What do these patterns look like day to day? How can we notice the subtle ways we push love away, cling too tightly, or shut down when we crave closeness the most?

With relatable stories and clear guidance, Diane offers simple shifts that help us move back toward secure connection. From reframing old complaints into positive requests to building the courage to actually receive care, she shows that healing isn’t an abstract goal — it’s a daily practice that transforms how we show up for ourselves and the people we love.

Whether you’re untangling old wounds or simply wanting more ease in your relationships, this conversation reminds us that our attachment style isn’t a fixed fate. It’s an imprint that can be softened, rewritten, and lived into — moment by moment, together.