FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ
A woman in glasses sitting at a desk with a laptop researching attachment.

What is attachment theory?

ATTACHMENT THEORY IN CLINICAL PRACTICE

Integrate attachment theory principles into your practice––address patterns that can undermine connection and intimacy.

WHAT IS ATTACHMENT THEORY?

Attachment theory, developed by therapist John Bowlby, seeks to provide the framework for how the attachment system develops, presents and connects––and disconnects––in our relationships.

Babies are born pre-programmed to form attachment to others to ensure survival. In human evolution, babies who remained close to their caregivers were more likely to grow into adulthood (and in turn reproduce).

When primary caregivers are available and respond to an infant’s needs and cues, the infant learns the caregiver is dependable, which allows the child to develop a sense of security that is the base for the child to then explore the world.

If we grow up with mostly responsive, pro-social and consistent caregivers, that tends to prime us for secure attachment. 

If, as children, our needs are not met or we experience neglect, birth trauma, illness or disadvantageous socio-economic conditions, we likely developed attachment injuries or adaptations––less healthy patterns, emotions and behaviors that allowed us to survive and cope with less-than-ideal circumstances.

A young boy smiles while holding a dog, demonstrating an attachment bond.
A woman with gray hair is posing for a photo capturing her attachments.

Why is it so important to learn about the attachment system?

Unfortunately, we had no say or control in whether our needs would be met or unmet. We simply responded or adapted to the experience instinctively. That means this adaptation or attachment style is the “original blueprint” for how we perceive, connect with and relate to others and the world around us––and it often informs our adult relationships unconsciously.

Our attachment system is rooted in an instinctual, evolutionary urge to connect to our caregivers, as it ensures our chances for survival.

Why is that important? Because it means that we are already biologically wired for secure attachment. 

Our innate attachment system is highly adaptable, which means we can all learn new skills and tools to help us return to our dominant state of secure attachment, enabling us to experience authentic connection, safety and joy in our lives and relationships.

The Origins and Development of Attachment Theory

My work builds upon the foundations and lineage of John Bowlby, who defined the “attachment behavioral system” in the 1960s, during his research into the distress children experience when separated from their caregivers. 

Mary Ainsworth’s work divided the attachment system into distinct styles: secure, insecure avoidant, insecure ambivalent. Main and Solomon later added the category of insecure disorganized.

Contemporary research shows that these early experiences in childhood create a “blueprint” for how we interact in adult relationships—and can affect our behaviors, expectations and perceptions, often unconsciously. Many of our “triggers” or reactions are rooted in this relational template

A woman incorporating the DARe approach wears a turquoise top and necklace with a smile.

Attachment Theory and Hope for Healing

Current work in the attachment field, as well as revelations of modern neuroscience on brain plasticity, give us the exciting opportunity to shift destructive relationship patterns into constructive behaviors.

The good news is that no matter what our early caregiving situation or past relationships looked like, it’s possible to restore secure attachment, radically change the nature of our relationships and experience greater intimacy, wholeness and resilience.

  • Tap into your potential for recovery and growth
  • Get to the root of trauma and support permanent change
  • Restore a sense of safety, trust and wholeness
  • Build stronger relationships based on empathy & communication
  • Grow resilience and discover greater joy and fulfillment

What Are THE FOUR Attachment Styles?

Curious why people behave and respond the way they do? Learn more about each of the four main adult attachment styles…

A black man and woman hugging in the kitchen.

Secure Attachment

Secure attachment is attunement—or the ability to form trusting, meaningful and lasting relationships. Securely attached adults seek social support and have the ability to share feelings.

LEARN MORE
A woman is standing in front of a man in a kitchen.

Avoidant Attachment

Adults with avoidant attachment may avoid intimacy, may be unwilling or unable to share their innermost feelings or have trouble investing emotionally in any type of relationship.

LEARN MORE
A woman covering her face while a man is walking down the street.

Ambivalent Attachment

Adults with ambivalent (preoccupied) attachment tend often crave emotional intimacy but worry that others don’t want to be with them, which can result in needy or clingy behaviors.

LEARN MORE
A man and woman are sitting on a couch talking to each other.

Disorganized Attachment

Adults with disorganized attachment often experienced abuse, neglect or trauma as a child and tend to find intimate relationships confusing and unsettling because they feel unworthy and are terrified of getting hurt.

LEARN MORE
EXPLORE ATTACHMENT STYLES
A group of people at home in a video conference on a laptop.

Attachment Issues in Relationships

OVERCOME TRAUMA. RESTORE CONNECTION.

  • Recover Secure Attachment

    Attachment tools help us see unhealthy behaviors in the context they were created—knowledge that gives us hope and sets us on a healing path toward healthier, more loving relationships.

  • Grow More Resilient

    Trauma or relational wounding can leave you struggling with a variety of challenging feelings and emotions. Despite our past, it’s possible to strengthen our innate ability to heal, reconnect and thrive!

  • Repair & Reconnect

    An attachment framework helps us see how early experiences shape current patterns and behaviors––insights that help us learn how to reconnect to ourselves, others and the world around us.

WAYS YOU CAN LEARN ATTACHMENT

Online Trauma & Attachment Training

Choose Your Path to Success

What if you could draw from attachment theory to promote healing and strengthen relationships?

HARDWIRED TO HEAL

The foundation for all of our training rests on Dr. Diane Poole Heller’s firm belief that we are all hardwired to heal. Our bodies and our brains store memories of early experiences, creating patterns that deeply affect our relationships and behaviors in adult life.

And when you can discover the source of those patterns––to get to the root of unresolved trauma––you can turn theoretical insights into practical help and healing to deepen intimacy and restore secure attachment.

Whether you’re ready to broaden your thinking and deepen your clinical toolbox or you’re simply curious how an understanding of attachment styles can support psychological, emotional and behavioral growth, there’s a training program right for you…

An african american woman is smiling at the camera.

Adult Attachment Styles

INTRODUCTION TO ATTACHMENT

In this 2-hour, 4-part self-paced video training series, Dr. Diane Poole Heller delivers a quick, yet thorough primer on the four attachment styles: secure, avoidant, ambivalent and disorganized.

For only $67, you’ll learn:

  • How attachment styles develop––and what it means to have a healthy attachment system.
  • How to identify (and understand) each of the different attachment adaptations, including their language and behavior patterns.
  • Ways that attachment styles can negatively and positively affect relationships (both in our present and our past).
  • Tools, tips and exercises to begin the healing process and help you move yourself and your relationships back towards secure attachment.

This video training includes a short welcome––plus four video and audio recordings, transcripts and a follow-along workbook filled with experiential exercises, tips, and space for reflection––all designed to help you begin your healing journey as you strengthen secure attachment skills.

SPECIAL BONUS

To help you better understand how each of the four attachments presents in your life and relationships, you’ll also get the Attachment for Everyone eBook and the Adult Attachment Styles Reference Guide for FREE as our way of saying thanks for registering!

Buy Now

Attachment & Trauma Mastery Training

TWO WAYS TO LEARN DARe

Your clients need help now more than ever before. But few of us expect the work to be easy. 

In everyday therapeutic sessions, you need more than theory alone to get to the root of unresolved trauma to help yourself and others heal.

Using the framework of Dr. Diane Poole Heller’s signature DARe approach (Dynamic Attachment Repatterning experience), we offer a variety of courses and programs that help you apply concrete skills, interventions and strategies to clinical sessions––integrate the work with existing modalities to strengthen secure attachment and bring healing to any relationship.

Choose how you want to learn…

  • 3-Day DARe Live Intensives

    A series of live, online 3-day workshops taught by DARe faculty and offered quarterly throughout the calendar year.

    By combining live training, informative teaching lectures, practical demonstrations, experiential exercises and supplementary support material––participants leave each workshop clearly understanding how to integrate and apply attachment and trauma principles, techniques and corrective experiences to a clinical setting.
  • Attachment & Trauma Mastery Program

    In a hybrid approach to learning, our 6-week Attachment & Trauma Mastery courses combine self-paced online learning with live training led by Dr. Diane Poole Heller.

    Each week, access pre-recorded training videos in your learning portal––along with audio recordings, transcripts and supplementary resources like worksheets, demos and exercises.

    Plus, join Dr. Heller for LIVE weekly training calls and Q&A sessions where you learn experiential exercises, review the week’s teachings and discuss cases and client demos.

    Can’t attend live? All sessions are recorded and posted to your personal learning dashboard within 48 hours, where they’re yours to keep (and revisit) for the lifetime of the program.

No matter which way you choose to learn DARe, you’ll quickly identify the relationship or coping patterns that underlie the dynamics of a person’s emotional difficulties––and discover practical ways to integrate and apply training that’s highly applicable to your personal and professional life.

See All Upcoming Training

Advanced Training for Clinicians

DARe CERTIFICATE PROGRAM

Elevate your clinical skills and work more effectively with clients. Discover how to address unresolved trauma, heal attachment wounds and restore and strengthen secure attachment skills––to support healing and resilience for any type of relationship.

Using the framework of Dr. Diane Poole Heller’s signature Dynamic Attachment Repatterning experience approach (DARe), the Certificate Program combines psychotherapeutic modalities, scientific and spiritual perspectives with attachment and  trauma-informed tools, techniques and strategies.

Gain skills you need to work more effectively with clients…

  • Tap into your own potential for recovery and growth so you can embody the practices to better serve your clients.
  • Learn how to recognize and address different attachment styles and adaptations in real-time.
  • Become an expert in a unique therapeutic approach that gets to the root of trauma and supports permanent changes that alleviate suffering and bring joy and fulfillment.
  • Work with the relational field and the nervous system, which is the key paradigm when working with attachment wounds and trauma.
  • Receive practical, experiential training that emphasizes integration of practical, clinical knowledge with existing modalities you already use.
  • Access valuable tools and exercises to experience and embody the work for yourself.
Learn More + Apply

Monthly Training for Clinicians

Therapy Mastermind Circle

Join a monthly online membership program where we explore relevant topics, share expert learning and gain practical skills and interventions that help you and your clients grow and thrive.

  • Explore a variety of deep and complex topics that aren’t often covered in traditional training programs.
  • Learn directly from Dr. Diane Poole Heller and other renowned express, ready to share years of professional, clinical experience.
  • Integrate new skills, corrective exercises and interventions that help clients grow and thrive despite their trauma.
  • Join an engaged and friendly community that supports you while you support others in their healing.
Read More

The Power of Attachment Book

CREATE DEEP AND LASTING RELATIONSHIPS

Why do we experience recurring struggles in our relationships? And why do traumatic events often awaken or amplify our fear, anger, isolation and helplessness?

Overwhelming experiences can disrupt our most important connections––parts of ourselves (within), the physical world around us and with others. And in the wake of trauma, your attachment style deeply influences what happens next. 

With expert guidance, this book teaches the principles and practices for finding your way back to wholeness, resilience and connection––based on the unique way you connect with others.

Here, you’ll learn key insights and practices to help you:

  • Restore broken connections caused by trauma
  • Become more embodied and grounded in your body
  • Integrate the parts of you that feel wounded and fragmented
  • Emerge from grief, fear and powerlessness to regain strength, joy and resilience
  • Reclaim access to your inner resources and spiritual nature
Buy the Book

Adult Attachment Styles

INTRODUCTION TO ATTACHMENT

In this 2-hour, 4-part self-paced video training series, Dr. Diane Poole Heller delivers a quick, yet thorough primer on the four attachment styles: secure, avoidant, ambivalent and disorganized.

For only $67, you’ll learn:

  • How attachment styles develop––and what it means to have a healthy attachment system.
  • How to identify (and understand) each of the different attachment adaptations, including their language and behavior patterns.
  • Ways that attachment styles can negatively and positively affect relationships (both in our present and our past).
  • Tools, tips and exercises to begin the healing process and help you move yourself and your relationships back towards secure attachment.

This video training includes a short welcome––plus four video and audio recordings, transcripts and a follow-along workbook filled with experiential exercises, tips, and space for reflection––all designed to help you begin your healing journey as you strengthen secure attachment skills.

SPECIAL BONUS

To help you better understand how each of the four attachments presents in your life and relationships, you’ll also get the Attachment for Everyone eBook and the Adult Attachment Styles Reference Guide for FREE as our way of saying thanks for registering!

Buy Now

Attachment & Trauma Mastery Training

TWO WAYS TO LEARN DARe

Your clients need help now more than ever before. But few of us expect the work to be easy. 

In everyday therapeutic sessions, you need more than theory alone to get to the root of unresolved trauma to help yourself and others heal.

Using the framework of Dr. Diane Poole Heller’s signature DARe approach (Dynamic Attachment Repatterning experience), we offer a variety of courses and programs that help you apply concrete skills, interventions and strategies to clinical sessions––integrate the work with existing modalities to strengthen secure attachment and bring healing to any relationship.

Choose how you want to learn…

  • 3-Day DARe Live Intensives

    A series of live, online 3-day workshops taught by DARe faculty and offered quarterly throughout the calendar year.

    By combining live training, informative teaching lectures, practical demonstrations, experiential exercises and supplementary support material––participants leave each workshop clearly understanding how to integrate and apply attachment and trauma principles, techniques and corrective experiences to a clinical setting.
  • Attachment & Trauma Mastery Program

    In a hybrid approach to learning, our 6-week Attachment & Trauma Mastery courses combine self-paced online learning with live training led by Dr. Diane Poole Heller.

    Each week, access pre-recorded training videos in your learning portal––along with audio recordings, transcripts and supplementary resources like worksheets, demos and exercises.

    Plus, join Dr. Heller for LIVE weekly training calls and Q&A sessions where you learn experiential exercises, review the week’s teachings and discuss cases and client demos.

    Can’t attend live? All sessions are recorded and posted to your personal learning dashboard within 48 hours, where they’re yours to keep (and revisit) for the lifetime of the program.

No matter which way you choose to learn DARe, you’ll quickly identify the relationship or coping patterns that underlie the dynamics of a person’s emotional difficulties––and discover practical ways to integrate and apply training that’s highly applicable to your personal and professional life.

See All Upcoming Training

Advanced Training for Clinicians

DARe CERTIFICATE PROGRAM

Elevate your clinical skills and work more effectively with clients. Discover how to address unresolved trauma, heal attachment wounds and restore and strengthen secure attachment skills––to support healing and resilience for any type of relationship.

Using the framework of Dr. Diane Poole Heller’s signature Dynamic Attachment Repatterning experience approach (DARe), the Certificate Program combines psychotherapeutic modalities, scientific and spiritual perspectives with attachment and  trauma-informed tools, techniques and strategies.

Gain skills you need to work more effectively with clients…

  • Tap into your own potential for recovery and growth so you can embody the practices to better serve your clients.
  • Learn how to recognize and address different attachment styles and adaptations in real-time.
  • Become an expert in a unique therapeutic approach that gets to the root of trauma and supports permanent changes that alleviate suffering and bring joy and fulfillment.
  • Work with the relational field and the nervous system, which is the key paradigm when working with attachment wounds and trauma.
  • Receive practical, experiential training that emphasizes integration of practical, clinical knowledge with existing modalities you already use.
  • Access valuable tools and exercises to experience and embody the work for yourself.
Learn More + Apply

Monthly Training for Clinicians

Therapy Mastermind Circle

Join a monthly online membership program where we explore relevant topics, share expert learning and gain practical skills and interventions that help you and your clients grow and thrive.

  • Explore a variety of deep and complex topics that aren’t often covered in traditional training programs.
  • Learn directly from Dr. Diane Poole Heller and other renowned express, ready to share years of professional, clinical experience.
  • Integrate new skills, corrective exercises and interventions that help clients grow and thrive despite their trauma.
  • Join an engaged and friendly community that supports you while you support others in their healing.
Read More

The Power of Attachment Book

CREATE DEEP AND LASTING RELATIONSHIPS

Why do we experience recurring struggles in our relationships? And why do traumatic events often awaken or amplify our fear, anger, isolation and helplessness?

Overwhelming experiences can disrupt our most important connections––parts of ourselves (within), the physical world around us and with others. And in the wake of trauma, your attachment style deeply influences what happens next. 

With expert guidance, this book teaches the principles and practices for finding your way back to wholeness, resilience and connection––based on the unique way you connect with others.

Here, you’ll learn key insights and practices to help you:

  • Restore broken connections caused by trauma
  • Become more embodied and grounded in your body
  • Integrate the parts of you that feel wounded and fragmented
  • Emerge from grief, fear and powerlessness to regain strength, joy and resilience
  • Reclaim access to your inner resources and spiritual nature
Buy the Book
See UPCOMING TRAINING

FIND SUPPORT IN A HEALING COMMUNITY

Trauma and attachment training for therapists & individuals

  • Discover how (and why) attachment styles affect adult relationships.
  • Strengthen and support secure attachment for yourself and others.
  • Learn and practice new habits that overcome unhealthy insecure attachment patterns.
  • Expand your clinical expertise with attachment and trauma-informed tools, strategies and interventions.
  • Integrate a proven approach that helps you navigate even the most complex or challenging relationship dynamics.
SEE UPCOMING TRAINING
A woman wearing a red shirt and scarf explores attachment.

WHY ATTACHMENT?

“I’ve been working as a Somatic Experiencing practitioner for a while now. I really like that work but needed an extra piece that complemented the somatic piece to help clients with attachment wounds and trauma. I had the training this past weekend and I’ve already started to use it with my clients! It’s been wonderful to see my clients have some movement and healing with their attachment issues.”
JULIELOREN ROTH MANWILLERWaynesville, NC
“I felt so safe in the learning environment that it allowed me to play with attachment theory and really develop my skills. I can’t say enough about the training. It really brought a new level of understanding about myself and how I interact with others, which was always kind of a mystery in the past.”
RICK C.Tucson, AZ
“I do believe that anyone can actually become a better person with this type of training. Understanding how we build relationships… how we work through them… and how we navigate them is quite important. Diane does a great job, not only outlining the adaptations, but showing us how to put the skills into practice––so that we not only understand each other, but are able to connect and make better communication a possibility.”
ERIKA FAETHCosta Rica
Previous
Next

Free Attachment Styles Quiz

FIND OUT YOUR ATTACHMENT TYPE

Take this free quiz to discover your attachment style and better understand the roots of relationship issues.

TAKE THE QUIZ