What does it really take to heal the attachment wounds that shape our closest relationships? In this episode of We Need to Talk, Dr. Diane Poole Heller sits down with host Dr. Darcy Sterling to explore the transformative power of attachment work.
Diane shares the personal journey that first drew her into trauma healing—life-changing experiences of her own that opened the door to Somatic Experiencing and, later, to attachment repair.
Together, Darcy and Diane walk listeners through the four core attachment styles—secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized—showing how each pattern forms in childhood and plays out in adult relationships. The conversation highlights not just the theory, but also the lived reality: Diane offers memorable client stories that bring these concepts to life and illustrate how bound trauma can be released in different ways.
Listeners will take away practical tools, from “secure attachment skills” like daily rituals, to language shifts that transform complaints into heartfelt requests. You’ll also hear how small gestures of reassurance—like a simple text—can rewire patterns of fear and mistrust.
At the heart of the episode is a hopeful message: attachment injuries are not permanent. With awareness, practice, and compassion, we can all move toward the capacities of secure attachment—cultivating deeper intimacy, resilience, and joy in our relationships.
Whether you’re a therapist or simply curious about your own relational patterns, this conversation offers both insight and encouragement to continue your healing path.
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Dr. Darcy Sterling
Dr. Darcy Sterling is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, relationship expert, host of We Need to Talk, and the star of E! Network’s Famously Single. She co-owns Alternatives Counseling in New York City with her wife, Stephanie Sterling, where they specialize in supporting high-achieving individuals who want more out of life. They work with individuals and couples and lead workshops on emotional intelligence, goal achievement, and relationship skills.
Darcy earned her Master’s in Social Work from Columbia University and her Ph.D. from New York University’s School of Social Work. Beyond her clinical work, Darcy has contributed to The Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and Mind Body Green. She has also been featured in outlets including Cosmopolitan, Harper’s BAZAAR, and Bravo.
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