Do you notice how certain clients seem to carry themselves? The shoulders that stay tense no matter how many breathing exercises they try, the shallow breaths that never quite settle, or the quiet collapse in posture when emotional pain comes up.
These physical patterns tell a story––one that began long before the client entered your office.
Attachment theory shows us how early relationships shape adult functioning, but there’s a key piece that’s often missed: attachment patterns aren’t just in our thoughts and emotions––they’re deeply embedded in our bodies.
Early experiences of safety, danger, or uncertainty can leave their mark on the body as muscle tension, breathing patterns, and nervous system responses… physical patterns that can persist for decades, even when the original circumstances are long past.
Traditional talk therapy can offer powerful insights and cognitive understanding, but for many people, awareness alone doesn’t always shift these deeply rooted patterns. Their bodies continue to carry the protective responses they developed as children––patterns that show up as chronic tension, shallow breathing, or a persistent sense of “being on guard,” for example.
And this gap between what clients know and what they feel is one of the biggest challenges in attachment work.
This is where somatic approaches offer a unique way to bridge this gap. By working directly with the body’s stored protective responses, we can help clients access and address attachment wounds at their source.
In the sections ahead, we’ll look at how attachment patterns show up in the body and explore practical somatic approaches that support meaningful change.
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How Somatic Healing Supports Attachment Trauma Recovery
Understanding Attachment in the Body
Our bodies carry the story of our earliest attachment experiences. When caregivers respond to an infant’s distress with warmth and consistency, the infant’s body recognizes safety and settles into that state. But when those responses are unpredictable, unavailable, or threatening, the body adapts to protect itself.
These adaptations show up as muscle tension, breathing changes, and shifts in nervous system activity—all of which shape our sense of safety or threat.
Children who receive consistent comfort tend to develop a relaxed baseline in their bodies, while those exposed to unpredictable or threatening responses may develop patterns of hypervigilance or collapse.
These protective adaptations, which help a child navigate stressful environments, can get “stuck” over time. As adults, these patterns might remain as chronic tension, shallow breathing, or difficulty feeling present in the body.
Understanding how these physical patterns take root and persist is essential for working with attachment wounds.
To address attachment wounds, it’s not enough to recognize that attachment affects the body. True change comes from working with the body’s protective adaptations, helping them shift from states of defense to states of safety and connection.
Anxious Attachment Adaptation
Anxious attachment often shows up in the body as a constant state of readiness for rejection or abandonment. Clients may exhibit chronic muscle tension, particularly in the shoulders, chest, and abdomen—areas associated with the fight/flight response.
Their breathing tends to stay shallow and rapid, rarely reaching the belly, reflecting their ongoing physiological vigilance.
These clients often report these symptoms as a sense of being perpetually on alert or unable to fully relax, even in objectively safe situations. These physiological responses aren’t random—they’re rooted in the body’s attempts to maintain connection and avoid perceived loss.
Common physical signs of anxious attachment include:
- Tightness in the shoulders, chest, and abdomen
- Rapid, shallow breathing
- Digestive issues, tension headaches, or sleep disruptions
- A heightened startle response, constant state of vigilance, or “waiting for the other shoe to drop”
Avoidant Attachment Adaptation
Avoidant attachment often presents as physical containment or rigidity. Clients with this adaptation tend to maintain a sense of control over their physical sensations, which can manifest as persistent muscle bracing––a kind of physical “armoring” that creates distance from both emotional and physical sensations.
Their breathing may be shallow and constricted, with unconscious breath-holding being a common feature. This limited physical expansion mirrors the emotional distance (and vulnerability) that defines avoidant attachment.
Common physical signs of avoidant attachment include:
- Chronic tension or stiffness in the back, neck, and jaw
- Breath-holding or restricted, shallow breathing
- Disconnection from bodily senses or difficulty recognizing physical needs or comfort
- A tendency to appear physically “put together’ while feeling emotionally distant
Disorganized Attachment Adaptation
Disorganized attachment involves conflicting impulses toward connection and self-protection, reflecting the child’s early experience of caregivers who were both a source of comfort and fear. This internal contradiction shows up in the body as cycles of activation and collapse. The nervous system shifts unpredictably between hyperarousal and shutdown, leading to a mix of physical symptoms that can feel confusing to clients.
While research into the physical manifestations of disorganized attachment is still emerging, evidence suggests that the severe early stress typically associated with this adaptation can lead to chronic inflammation and dysregulation of the body’s stress response systems.
Common physical signs of disorganized attachment include:
- Sudden shifts from muscle tension to fatigue or “floppiness”
- Inconsistent breathing patterns that switch between shallow and deep breaths
- Symptoms of both hypervigilance (like startle responses) and dissociation (like numbness or detachment)
- Sensations of feeling “frozen” in place or physically stuck in response to stress
A Secure Blueprint
Insecure adaptations all have protective origins, but they can become barriers to emotional and relational growth if left unaddressed. By understanding how these adaptations present in the body, therapists can offer more targeted somatic interventions to support clients in moving from survival-driven responses to experiences of safety, choice, and connection.
Despite the challenges posed by these attachment adaptations, our bodies maintain an inherent capacity for secure attachment. This secure blueprint is built into our nervous system and remains accessible throughout life. Early experiences shape our initial adaptations, but they do not have to define us permanently.
But if our bodies are naturally wired for secure attachment, why do these protective responses continue even after the original conditions that caused them are no longer present?
The answer lies in what’s known as the maintenance cycle––a process that keeps these adaptations active long after they’re needed.
The Maintenance Cycle: How Adaptations Persist
Attachment adaptations are created in response to early experiences, but they don’t go away automatically when circumstances change. This happens for three reasons.
First, the nervous system begins to treat these responses as “normal” functioning, not as signs of stress––so they feel familiar even if they aren’t helpful. For example, when a child grows up bracing for rejection, their nervous system sets that alertness as a default state.
Second, unconscious habits can form around these responses. If a body stays tense for years, manifestations like shallow breathing or bracing become automatic, often happening without conscious awareness.
Finally, these adaptations are reinforced by our relationships. The way we physically present ourselves––through posture, tension, or distancing–-can influence how others respond to us. For example, if someone’s body is braced as if expecting rejection, they may appear distant or closed off, causing others to withdraw or withhold emotional warmth.
This withdrawal “confirms” to the body that its protective strategy was necessary, further embedding the adaptation. Over time, even safe, secure relationships may fail to disrupt this cycle if the body continues to misinterpret neutral or safe cues as threats.
This helps explain why clients often don’t recognize their chronic tension, restricted breathing, or physical bracing until it’s specifically brought to their attention in therapy.
Internal and External Feedback Loops
These physical adaptations influence daily functioning in ways that reinforce themselves. For instance, a client with anxious attachment might unconsciously hold tension in their shoulders and chest, leading to shallow breathing. This restricted breathing pattern then maintains a state of physiological arousal, which confirms to the body that it needs to stay on alert for rejection or abandonment.
Similarly, someone with avoidant patterns might maintain physical rigidity, which limits their capacity for emotional resonance with others. This physical stance inadvertently reinforces emotional distance, validating the body’s belief that distance equals safety.
External factors also play a role. Our bodies’ protective patterns often provoke responses from others that unknowingly reinforce original attachment strategies. For example, physical bracing may create subtle distance in relationships, prompting others to withdraw. This withdrawal then “proves” to the body that protection is necessary, reinforcing the cycle. Even in relationships that offer safety and security, the body’s default responses can keep these protective adaptations active.
The challenge in therapy isn’t just identifying these adaptations—it’s understanding how they’re maintained by internal and external feedback loops.
This also explains why cognitive insight alone often isn’t enough to create lasting change. While clients may understand that their current relationships are safe, their bodies operate on a deeper, older logic. True change requires new, body-based experiences that help the nervous system recalibrate its sense of safety.
Somatic Approaches to Healing Attachment Patterns
The key to working with attachment patterns is to create conditions where protective responses can “soften” safely and naturally. Instead of fighting against them, the goal is to support new capacities for connection and regulation while still honoring the role these adaptations have played in keeping the client safe.
Building Safety in the Nervous System
The first step in working with attachment adaptations is establishing a sense of safety within the nervous system. Without a felt sense of safety, the body will continue to rely on its default protective strategies.
This means helping clients’ systems stay regulated as they explore new bodily experiences. One effective approach is through simple breathing practices that support nervous system regulation. For example, lengthening the exhale using the “Voo Breath” while maintaining awareness of bodily sensations can help clients develop a wider “window of tolerance” for stress.
Another approach might include orienting and grounding practices—helping clients notice the safety of their current environment using their senses. For instance, inviting a client to notice their surroundings, feel their feet on the floor, or pay attention to the support of a chair can shift the nervous system from threat detection to present-moment safety. This is particularly helpful for clients with anxious attachment, who tend to operate on the edge of their window of tolerance.
Working With, Not Against
Protective responses exist for good reason. They once served as essential survival strategies, so the goal isn’t to “get rid of” them. Instead, therapy focuses on building new capacities alongside existing protective responses. This approach allows clients to develop curiosity as they remain connected to their sense of safety while exploring new possibilities for connection and regulation.
For clients with avoidant attachment, this might mean working with physical rigidity by offering choices about how much sensation to engage with. A process called titration involves allowing the client to contact small amounts of sensation at a time, rather than overwhelming the system with too much at once. For example, a client might notice the sensation of their back touching a chair for a few moments before shifting their attention to a different part of their body. Over time, they can build the capacity to stay present with bodily sensations for longer periods.
Pendulation and Rhythm
Somatic work also involves guiding clients through natural cycles of activation and restoration, expansion and contraction—similar to the cycles of connection and autonomy seen in secure attachment.
This process, called pendulation, involves moving back and forth between activation (engaging with difficult sensations) and rest (returning to a sense of safety). This rhythm builds flexibility in the nervous system, allowing clients to handle a wider range of experiences without feeling overwhelmed.
Somatic therapists often support clients in developing “somatic resources” they can return to during moments of activation. These might include physical actions or postures that signal safety to the body.
For instance, lengthening the spine to counter feelings of collapse, clenching the fists to discharge anger, or pressing the feet into the ground for a sense of grounding. Different attachment adaptations respond to different resources, so clients may need to experiment with various practices to discover what works best for them.
Signs of Progress
Progress in somatic work isn’t about “fixing” or “eliminating” protective adaptations. Instead, it’s about giving clients more choices in how they respond to sensations of threat and connection.
Progress can be seen when clients experience greater flexibility in their physical patterns, increased capacity to notice bodily sensations, more spontaneous movement and expression, and the ability to stay connected to their bodies during moments of stress. True progress is marked by the client’s growing ability to access both protection and connection—not just one or the other.
Conclusion
Working with attachment responses through the body opens up possibilities for lasting change that go beyond cognitive insight alone.
By addressing the nervous system’s role in attachment, we can help clients move beyond old protective patterns and develop a greater sense of safety, connection, and choice. This process requires patience and care, but the outcomes are meaningful: clients who feel more present in their bodies and more connected in their relationships.
For therapists, working with somatic approaches isn’t just about learning new techniques—it’s about seeing the body as an essential part of the healing process.
Want to feel more confident using somatic tools to address attachment trauma? Our upcoming trainings focus on practical tools and hands-on learning, so you can feel confident supporting clients in making meaningful, lasting changes.
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